:pool of thoughts:

BT:JT+3

here i am, hell, once again.. dunno how i can let myself go through this
shit one fuckin more time.. i mean, as far as i know, i prefer jakarta to
sydney, in a heartbeat. so why bother going over here again, and
torture myself? i guess i need challenges.. and a prestigious degree
from a credible university to get better salaries later in my fuckin life. God,
haven't i told myself not to complain? hmm.. hmm.. heheh.. =p

about free webhosts, i hate 'em cuz i can't upload my flash file. too big.
and when i can, i can't just 'remote link' to my file. abuse. got my tripod
account cancelled because of that. fuck. so far, i've wasted my time
signing up for useless webhosts--

goosemoose.com
freewebs.com

currently uploading the file to my yahoo-geocities account. hopefully it'll
work now *cross fingers*. finally gave up my subdomain preference. i like
having ryandleon.something.com account. can't do that with yahoo-geocities
though. fuck. so what? as long as i can show u the bbQ file right? heheh..

hate australia's internet. can't use ADSL, cuz of this RIM shit. what's RIM?
beats me.. can only use bigpond cable. fuckin expensive offers. stuck with
dial-up. i crave singapore's ultra-fast connection!! that's 11 Mbps wireless
internet connection for free in starbucks paragon, and many other places.
shit. hate australia. oh, this time around, i got no day-off. fuck. hate australia
even more. and it's getting even colder here. fucker!! to fuckin hell with
fuckin australia!!

oh btw, i arrived in sydney yesterday. from singapore. watched down with
love and confessions of a dangerous mind. both are actually pretty
nice movies, although some ppl dun really like the latter one. bit boring.
slept for 16 hours last nite. now that's what i call satisfaction! ah..

totEm: do u really expect me to have one rite now? this entry's basically my
totEm~

ps: finally, the bbQ link's working!! yay!! enjoy ppl.. =)

bbL~

hi there.. last friday was craic! i had the most fun hosting one
such bbQ party!! oh, anyone who would rather miss such an
event for boring holiday in meLb surely is crazy!! *wicked smile*
i've uploaded some pics so u guys can see them, just click
here. it'll take quite a while to load for those with slower connection,
but i assure u, it's definitely worth it!

this week is packed with agendas.. but sadly, i will also be
leaving for sydney this very same week.. yea, poor me..
huff.. guess i'll just think of this session as another extended
holiday in sydney.. so i'll just shut my mouth up, stop complaining,
and start enjoying whatever there is to enjoy. there, that should
do it! *pumped in some confidence*

totEm: how does ur bladder refill itself? i know that's like, basic
biology, but i still kinda wonder. is it drip by drip, until it's finally
full, or what? ..i know, i get loads of weird thoughts, but that's
me.. live with it. bbL~

im currently processing stuff for cable internet, but i suppose it'll only be
active by the time i go to singapore, so im fucked up either way.
i hate australia. have i mentioned that before? yea, i really do.
oh, i hate dentists as well. wanna know why? yesterday i went to
this dentist to clean my teeth. it was my first visit. ever. and hopefully
my last. not that im gonna die soon. i don't wanna go to any dentist
anymore. ever. they hurt people. oh, but i wanna get braces to fix my teeth.
will it hurt?


'zzzeeeeeeee..'

oh yea, just for the record, the photo session thing, it was for frederick's
assignment or something, so.. yea.. that's about it.

big news: my semester 1 results are out today. shit. well, not really shit.
they were okay. all HDs. guess i'll have to wait another turn to slip and
fall down the hard way. i hate getting good marks. really. bite me.


that's bio, chem, chinese, and maths.

i hate one of my subjects: CHIN1006. that's introductory chinese 1a. why i hate
it? simply cuz it's a total waste of time, money, effort, brain cells, the list
goes on.. the guy from the science office won't let me use that subject
as 6 units of gen-ed. crap. i did all that shit for nothing? yea, that's
chinese for me. useless. unless i minor in chinese studies. which i won't. a piece
of advice for ppl planning to take language studies:
don't. they suck. not trying to discourage u or anything. i like language
stuff. just don't do it in uni. really.

currently eating baby biscuit.. keep in touch with the baby in me.. hmm..

totEm: dun really have any totEm rite now.. prolly later.. what's totEm
u ask? it's "thought of the moment". yea, i know. i am genius. bbL~

yea rite! what the title's trying to imply is that i work as a part-time model.
the truth is, yesterday, frederick came to my house for a photo session!
it was crazy, not to mention awful!! =) i was supposed to act like this
lonely, stressed guy (as if i wasn't lonely enough!!) and then he took some
30 shots of me.. great huh? a model for a day, what a dream.. heheh..
well, it was actually kinda fun.. depends on how u look at it. it COULD be
my first exposure to modeling world, mwahahahaha.. doH!
anyway, he used this cool manual camera (which got my attention in a way)
and B&W film, so im expecting some nice results =p
also, i think this friday we're gonna have a bbq in my house (eat that julz!!
haha!!)..

thought of the day: do mosquitoes have brains? this morning, when i was
about to pee, a mosquito was sitting in the toilet. i tried to flush it,
but it flew away. i was wondering, would it fly back and take its revenge on
me? if so, then they do have brains.. i don't mean brain, but the
process of thinking, u know, human stuff.. crazy thought.. ignore it..



bbL~

i guess if you ask me why i'm writing this poem
i will not have any possible answer to give
i don't know whether this is truly my feelings written
or just a surrealistic image that i aim to achieve

was it just me, or did the trees really smile and gently say 'hello' to us?
when we stepped through the gates of this school for the first time
excited, carrying hope in our innocent minds
at the same time scared, unaware of what we might learn or find

was it just me, or did the sun really show its golden ray
as we walked home in the late afternoon, weary and torn
feeling like we know everything, while we don't know what to say
to face the whole life, the reality, the truth itself, on our own?

was it just me, or did the wind suddenly turn into a gentle breeze
filling our hearts with warmth and blowing ever-so-tender
in those days where we sat down and wept, hoping the pain would cease
that everything would be all right, and that the next day would be better?

was it just me, or did everyone feel the same way that i felt?
happy for our achievements and sad for the goodbyes
afraid that we might never see each other again, afraid of losing what we had
as summer turned into autumn, noting one of the most important turning points in our lives

was it just me, or did we really have an unforgettable time back then?
were we the best of friends, and will we still be like that?
the joy and the fun will always be treasured, the smile and the tears will not be forgotten
our friendship is the best thing that has ever happened in our lives, long may it last

i guess, looking back at the things we had,
it wasn't just me after all..


:ryan haryadi:



i dedicate this poem to all my friends from gandhi, true friends at heart,
some of which i've lost in one way or another, but still remain as none
but my dearest. i love you all, you know that. bbL~

hello again. apologize, i must. blogging, for a while, i have not been.
thoughtless, i am not. some thinking, i have actually done. pity, it is,
share with you, the thoughts, i cannot.

enough with the yoda crap. it's been a while yea? u guys miss me? =)
yesterday i went to jakarta fair. i thought i saw this guy called awdy,
from gandhi, but i wasn't sure myself. i think he saw me as well, but i didn't call
him. he was actually one of those guys who were shouting with megaphones,
trying to sell their stuff. i wasn't trying to be cruel or anything, it's just that
i wasn't sure if he was who i thought he was. hmm.. couldn't care less,
actually.. =p

got the pics from last march's mardi gras! it was a craic actually, the show
was absolutely grand, and there were lots of people.. anyway, i'll post one
of the pics that i took =)


scary-looking old guy! yes, a guy!! =x

aah, it feels so nice to blog again.. oh yeah, these days i feel so down,
knowing that my holiday's coming to an end pretty soon.. but no worries,
i'll be here in jakarta again by the end of this year! yeah! that's the spirit..
i despise university life.. hate it.. hate it.. why does everything have to
change? why can't we stay as kids forever..? haha.. there goes my thought
of the day!~

i'll prolly post the poem that i wrote for my highschool yearbook
later.. it's a nice one.. read it a few days ago, kinda brought back some
really good memories.. aah, those good ol' days.. heheh..

bbL~

apparently, i have a hunch, this time zone problem can never be solved.
therefore, as a wise guy, and to show my love of jakarta, i've made
some decisions..

01. from now on, every entry will be in local jakarta time [JT].

02. i will then write BT: JT+3 or JT+4 in every entry i make in sydney, or
plus any number if i blog somewhere else, to give u an idea of the local blog
time [BT] with respect to jakarta time.

03. i will avoid blogging between critical hours unless i really have to.
critical hours is the ambiguous time period in which there is a day-difference
between BT and JT. an example of this is my first entry,
in which BT: wed, 25/06, 12:36 AM, and JT: tue, 24/06, 09:36 PM.
that is, BT: JT+3. confused? me too.. =p

wow.. that was some serious stuff.. all right, now that's outta the way, let's
add in some thoughts:

sometimes i wish this world is an RPG (role-playing game) world.. i seriously do. i am
so in love with that game genre (more on that from the best game developer,
square-enix) that sometimes i imagine myself being one of the characters.
i like magicians the most. dunno why, i just do. back when i was in the scots college,
sydney, i used to imagine the sports field as a battlefield. i imagined monsters
appearing, while my cousin, my brother and i were the good guys. silly, one might think,
but that's one of my ways to go through life. imagination, taking things on the
lighter side.. u should try it too. heheh..

signing off, bbL~

something bothers me about this blog's time zone.. it seems that the
time of the entries i made in sydney have all shifted 3 hours backward
ever since i changed my time zone to 'jakarta'. if u guys see the time of
the first entry as tuesday, june 24th, 9:36 PM, it's actually local
jakarta time. when i made the entry, it was actually wednesday, june 25th,
12:36 AM, sydney time.
from there up to friday, june 27th, 'my stomach hurts', everything should be
plus 3.

if anyone could help me with this dillemma, PLEASE contact me. thanks a lot..

bbL~

i've decided that it's okay to sometimes write stuff like in a journal.. heheh..
how one's mind could change overnight.. =)

today i had my share of siomay, one of julie's favourite food, so i thought
i'd put it here to make her jealous.. heheh.. evil me..

also today, i bought macromedia studio mx & adobe photoshop 7.0.. gonna
get serious bout my website.. hmm!

make it short now, bbL~

hmm.. it turns out, i didn't blog on sunday.. that's good.. that means,
i'm not subjected (by myself, mostly =p) to blogging every single day..
i mean, after all, this is my pool of thoughts, so the entries should be
what i feel like sharing, not exactly an online diary or journal.. yeah,
that's the way it should be.. *self-reassuring*

actually, i just realized that i've missed my purpose of creating this
weblog since a few days ago.. it's turning into a journal.. i made this
thing to share stuff that is up here , with all of u, whoever u may be..
so there, from this moment, i won't treat this thing as a journal.
..
..
..
..
have you guys actually noticed that i tend to ramble on and on about
something that is not so important? gosh.. this is one of my unfavourable
traits.. too talkative.. but don't get me wrong, im actually quite reticent..
i think.. hmm.. hmm.. *wondering if anyone agrees with me*

on to the more interesting stuff.. im currently listening to ayumi hamasaki's
latest album 'A BALLADS'. i highly recommend this album to anyone, as well
as anything that comes from ayumi.. heheh.. a bit subjective there.. =p
but then again, she IS the most beautiful creature i've ever seen
in my life.. and she sings well, too! so there u have it, one EXTREMELY beautiful
goddess
heheh.. heheh.. heheh.. mwahahahahahahahahaha..

do pigs fly? ..i need to get a life..

bbL~


even goddess eats noodle.

if u notice, it's always 11 something PM everytime i blog these days..
have to change this habit!! =)
well.. let's see.. today i exercised a bit.. felt kinda good.. heheh..
swam a bit.. oh yeah, it turns out, everyone already knew about my being
in jakarta.. starting from wippy yesterday night. he SMSed me when i was
in shima.. hmm.. blogging about my so-called secret return wasn't such a
good idea huh? never mind though.. had a little bit fun surprising some people! =)
some cousins of mine came today from bandung.. now the house is crowded..
not that it really matters though.. it's always nice having some company..
SMSed my other 'charmed' bro frederick just now.. prolly gonna go somewhere
this friday..

oh yeah, people seems to find out about my return from this blog.. does that mean
my pool of thoughts has gone international? hmm.. interesting.. =p

okay.. time to go now.. bbL~